Ahhhhhh.

I have finally placed the last of the orders for the shop (for now) and tonight ( instead of researching, submitting requests for wholesale info, writing orders, or painting) I am hanging out with you. Ok?

I haven't gone in to much detail yet about my trip to Cleveland for the tv show. This is old news by now, and I'm sure I could just leave it untold, but this is a journal, isn't it?  I should write it out ,  just so I can read it later on.

Hopefully you'll enjoy the telling, even though I don't know what that means yet. When I start writing about a specific event, I get nervous that I'll forget something, or won't have anything interesting to say about it. So to assuage those little fears, instead of dipping my toe in and thinking about how cold the water is,  I just jump in and start doing mermaid flips. 

~~Just a brief comment about the photos in this post. I had the pleasure of meeting Jane LaFazio at the tv studio, and she generously allowed me to take these pictures of her journal pages.  Gorgeous ! You may even recognize the pincushion that she sketched while we waited in the green room. (I can't believe that I say things like 'while we waited in the green room.' )~~

Here we go:

Well, you know I was totally freaked by this.

Yeah,  I know, it's just a little segment on a quilting show, it's not  like David Letterman (swoon).  But still. I was freaked out.  It wasn't just the actual process of being taped that was sending me over the edge, it was everything else that it brought up.

I pretty much reverted in the weeks leading up  to it. My lifelong when-the-going-gets-tough habit of eating for comfort was fully in play. That  part of me that is now playfully  self-deprecating went back to its previous incarnation as merciless, self-hating tormentor. I was a hurtin' puppy. I just didn't believe I could do it. I felt like I was going to vaporize. I imagined bursting into tears on the set and them having to send me home  without a segment to air. This would not have surprised me in the least, to tell you the truth.

Even though I often wished that I had said no, I kept just trying to  put one foot in front of the other. Mostly, I just stumbled along. What else could I do?

After much fretting, I had finally decided on a project. If you know me at all, then you won't  be shocked that I prepared the project and samples the day before my departure. Thankfully, my pal Jess  came over and helped me out with mad sewing, great conversation, and (much needed) moral support.  Did I mention that her support was much needed? Because it was.  

The following day (project completed, bag packed, hair bleached) I headed to Providence to stay over at Madelyn's. I always try to bookend my trips with visiting time like that. Going to Madelyn's is such a comfort. Being at her place is the closest thing I have  to that  "going-home, family-feeling" that I crave so much.  I am so thankful for that.

Maddie had read my blog and was inspired to buy ice-cream sandwiches that week! We each had a gin-and-tonic and an ice cream sandwich.

We toasted with the ice cream sandwiches. In case you were wondering, it sounded like this: ffffffff.

The rest of the story will be coming in the next couple of days, ok?

 I missed this.

xo, m